Monday, 20 September 2021


 "What an odd girl", "What a strange person", maybe you have heard somebody say these words about someone or even heard these said about yourself.  Maybe you, yourself, have uttered these phrases?  We all know somebody that seems radically different from the norm.  You may even feel that you are seen by others as not fitting into the box they have prepared for you.  I certainly am a person that has often found myself not conveniently fitting into anybody's preconceived idea of me.  As a child I have often found myself not being one of the "in-crowd", yet despite pressure to conform, I have decided to walk my own path.  I am proud to say that my children made the same choice.  Rather than giving up their own unique identity just to fit in, they chose to stay true to who they are.  Not always an easy choice, but the only real authentic one.  Have you found yourself in similar circumstances?  Not fitting in because you chose the road less traveled,  feeling isolated, weird, or different?  I have great news for you!!!!  It is perfectly okay not to be one of the faceless crowd.  In fact, you were born to be different and unique!  It is time to celebrate the wonderful you who you were destined to be!

How?  You may ask.  Maybe you have been hiding away for so long that you have lost track of who you are.  Then it is time to go in search of yourself.  I want you to find yourself and get to know yourself.  The true, real, unabridged, unconformed version of YOU!

I want you to go back to when you were a young child.  What was it you really liked to do?   What did you dream of being, what were your childhood dreams and desires?  Chances are that child of long ago was closest to the true version of you.  The version before you felt pressured to change.  Before you adapted to the world.  Before hurt, fear, and disillusionment changed you. Write it down then stick it up next to your mirror where you can see it every time you brush your teeth or comb your hair.  It is a reminder of the true you.  I want you to introduce yourself to that child.  Embrace that child and welcome her/him back.

Often the biggest reason people are afraid to be themselves is fear.  We are afraid that people will not like us for who we are.  We are afraid that we would be ridiculed and excluded.  We fear that people will not accept us.  News flash, they do not need to accept you, YOU have to accept yourself. Accept that no two people, including you, are the same.  We are each different in our own way.  Maybe you are weird, so what, you are also amazingly you-nique!

Stop wasting time trying to fit in, rather spend the time pursuing the things that make you happy.  Forget labels such as "normal", "fitting in" or "part of the crowd", these are all limiting beliefs.  Chuck that box away.  People generally like to put people into a box, neatly tagged with understandable and safe words.  It scares people when they cannot place you in a neatly characterized container.  Well, that is THEIR problem, and they have to deal with it.  Let them put you under a microscope and try to dissect every secret part of you.  Don't worry about it, just be you.  Truth be told, they are secretly admiring you and wishing that had the boldness just to be themselves.

Not fitting in, and not being part of the popular crowd can oftentimes be very isolating and lonely, especially during a person's childhood years.  However, it is usually these individuals that form deeper and more long-lasting relationships, and over the course of time, you will find that you have gathered your own tribe.  People, who like you, are true to themselves, and not threatened by your authenticity.
So, keep walking with confidence, blaze the way, and love every minute of your life.  Why blend in when you were born to stand out?

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