Today was a beautiful day, not too hot for January, and as we travelled we marvelled at the green fields, the flocks of lambs playing happily in the light breeze. Unfortunately there was not a single cosmos flower to be seen next to the road. Their season is past. How you loved their pink, purple and white blooms dancing all along the road wherever we travelled.
As we travelled along today, I turned my eyes up at the blue skies, the same colour as your eyes, and the fluffy clouds gathering on the horizon. How I wish I could just once more look in your eyes, the way they crinkled at the corners. How I wish I could just once more put my hand in yours and know you love me.
But I have your legacy written in my heart and your words of wisdom still echo in my memories. Everyday I share these with my daughters, passing them on and hoping they'll one day pass them on too.
If I had but one word to describe you, what would it be? Kind, gentle, loving, giving? Selfless, generous, loyal? One word could never do it, you were all of these and so much more. You taught me to pray, to believe when faith seemed impossible. You showed me how to love my children, treasure my husband, cope with unfairness and to be silent when words would only hurt. You taught me to start each day with a smile and to wake my children with the sound of laughter. Your life testified of putting others before your own needs.
So many years have passed since I saw you last, yet I miss you still. I often find myself telling you about your grandchildren, and think of how proud you would have been of each one of them. I wish I could have been the daughter then that I am today, maybe you would have smiled more often when you heard my name. Strange how having my own children has taught me to understand the depth of your love for me. Now it is so easy to see that every word was said to teach, guide and protect me. Your selflessness puts me to shame everyday, your example is a tough act to follow.
Yes, today was a beautiful day. It was your birthday. I hope you had a nice day in heaven, I hope you danced with butterflies in your hair, I hope you know how much we love you, and that our every thought of you would paint some cosmos in the sky.....
Happy Birthday, Mamma.
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