Thursday, 29 October 2015

Always Worth It

We are all aware of the fact that we are living in a very fast moving world.  Most of us have very little patience.  We hate waiting and we dislike to spend at lot of time to pursue something.  We prefer instant and fast.  Even relationships suffer from this.  We meet somebody, but instead of letting the relationship develop and grow, we quickly want to move it from step A to step B and then wonder why it fizzles out into nothing.  In this world with its break-neck pace, finding someone who truly loves us, is nothing short of a miracle. To really have a meaningful and long-term relationship it takes quite a bit of effort, and the logical question to ask is if it is at all worth it.  After all, falling in love is a risk.  It is a minefield of potential heartache and pain.  Yet, few things are as magical as the excitement, joy and sharing of love.

Falling in love is easy.  Even eight year olds can do it, but the feeling of "falling-in-love" is fickle, and the candle soon burns out.  To be worth anything, that first infatuation needs to grow and mature into something lasting.  It has to be build on mutual understanding and respect.  You have to find some common ground in your values, perspectives, and likes and dislikes.

Communication is vital in a relationship.  It is the arteries that keep the blood circulation open.  Talk about the things that make you happy as well as those things that irritate or frustrate you.  It is better to talk about it before it builds up and then burst the dam wall.  It is important to be truthful and open with each other from the beginning.  It helps to build trust in a relationship.Being open in a relationship helps to avoid doubts and insecurities from finding their way into a relationship.They are like little vermin chewing away at the foundation of a relationship.

When we are in a relationship, we are in it as a couple and our mindset should be to include our partner in our plans and dreams, we should also share in our partner's interests and encourage their plans and ideas.It is important to be tuned in to your partner's moods and feelings.  If you feel that there is something bothering him/her it is important to talk to your partner about it, and to listen to him/her.

Dreaming and making plans together for your future is an important part of a long term relationship.

We all enter into a relationship with our own unique traits, strengths, abilities and short-comings.  We have to respect and value these differences in each other, and accept each others weaknesses.  This is a great opportunity to learn from each other.  My weakness is balanced out by my partner's strengths and vice versa.  We must celebrate the areas that provide us with common ground, but we have to learn to accommodate each other's differences. Trying to change the other person will only lead to frustration, resentment and heartache.  It is our differences that have the potential to make our relationship stronger and interesting.

In a long term relationship our common values, our spiritual belief system and mental development are of great importance.  These issues cannot be avoided or ignored, it is also very difficult to make compromises about these key issues.  While falling in love and our mutual attraction to each other have brought us together, it is our values that will create a strong foundation.  It is quite rare to find somebody with similar beliefs and values to our own, but when we do, it is worth treasuring that person, and it makes any compromise in other areas easier.

Every person in the world, no matter what age they are, is constantly in a process of growing and maturing.  We are changing all the time.  Therefore, it is important for people who are in a long term relationship to stay connected to each other.  We have to talk about our ideas, share our thoughts and thus grow together.  It is important to take part in each others interests and activities.  Spend time together and take turns to do what makes the other person happy.  

Do not ever take your partner for granted and pay attention to the little things.  Make time for each other.  Take off your watch, switch off your phone.  Spend quality time together.   Every now and then ask yourself if you are doing everything you can to make your partner happy?  Everything in life that is worthwhile takes a bit of effort, but in the end it is always worth it.

 Remember:Relationships last long because two people make a choice: To KEEP it, FIGHT for it and WORK for it. (author Unknown)

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