This Moment

I remember a favourite childhood game of mine was playing "Make Believe" .  My friends and I would dream up all sorts of scenarios in which we would all take turns to be the star.  From owning shiny fiery red sports cars to elaborate fairy palaces to wearing long silver gowns dipped in liquid diamonds.  The more fanciful the ideas, the more excited we would become and we would feel euphoric with happiness.  There was nothing we could not become.  Of course this earned me the reputation of a dreamer.

Today I am still that dreamer, and I am a great advocate to follow your dreams and to live them, but last night, after spending some time with a friend of mine over the telephone, I started looking at it from a different point of view.  I realised that we have to be careful that our dreams do not take over our lives, our existence to such an extent that we forget to live in the here and now.

The reason I say this is that Lucy, my friend of many years, has yet to find happiness.  She's been poor, she's been rich, she's currently financially comfortable, she's been single, married, single again and very popular with the male species, her son is a qualified doctor and her daughter a successful designer.  From the outside she lives everybody's dream life, yet Lucy is always dreaming of something more.  She always begins a sentence with "If only".  "If only" I can get that promotion, "if only"  I could meet somebody as financially well-off as myself, "if only" I can buy that car...... ended of with "then I would also be happy".

Needless to say, all these things have at some time or another come true for her, but the happiness has never followed.

Why?  It is a question I have often pondered.

The answer lies in this simple truth.  Lucy has never learnt to appreciate one of life's greatest gifts, the gift of now.  This very moment is what I have.  When I appreciate this moment, then I can also count the blessings I have in this moment.  There is no need to drive a bigger car, have more money in the bank if I am able to value what I have right now.  Happiness is here right now.  Happiness can never be found in having the things you want, happiness is when you want the things you already possess right now, right in this perfect and beautiful moment.  Start right now and count your blessings and see the abundance you already have in your life.

By all means dream, and dream big, but never forget to also be absolutely aware of what is around you now, embrace and appreciate it.  Do not let this moment just pass into the lost moments of time. Treasure it.

If you flutter by here and would like to share what it is that make you happy right now, please feel free to do so.  Just click on the words "no comment" or "1 comment" and follow the prompts.  I am looking forward to hearing from you.

Be Brave, Little Dreamer....

I have a dream.

I know you have a dream too.
Dreams to humans are as sunlight is to plants.  It is woven into our DNA.  It is the way our spirit reaches out to something more, something better, something higher than ourselves.  Yet few, very few, of us ever realise our dreams, live our dreams.  Our dreams get stifled and wither away to mere long forgotten fleeting thoughts.  Just as plants cannot grow in darkness and cannot thrive in the shadows of the trees, dreams cannot see the light of day when they are over shadowed by fear, doubt or negativity.  The acid rain of unbelief dissolves the fragile wings of our dreams and cripple them mercilessly.  Our dreams become ghosts with names like "I-Wish-Had", "If-Only" and "It-Was-Not-Meant-To-Be".

Doubt, Negativity, Unbelief, Self-Sabotage, Fear are all Dream-Killers, and we are their accomplices.  We enable these thoughts to destroy our dreams, to relegate them to File 13.  We allow our internal dialogue to accuse our dreams , find them guilty without a fair trial and sentence them to a life in limbo.  Many years later we find the Cold Case of our dreams on the shelf and we wonder why we ever let go of them, and we are left with the bitter taste of regret in our hearts.

Let us no longer be Dream-Killers.  Today is the day of your dream, whatever it may be, however small it might be, or huge.  Today is the day to give voice to it.  Write your dream in BIG BOLD letters on a brand new blank page.  There is nothing that stands between you and your dream except for that which you allow to stand between you and your dream.  Look at your dream. Imagine what it will feel like to live your dream.  Feel it, taste it.  Write everything about your dream down.  What it is you would need to make your dream come true.  What is the first step you would need to take to make your dream come true?  Write it down, be honest.  Look at your dream from all sides.  Is this truly your dream?  It is never any use to try to live someone else's dream for your life, it has to be authentically yours.  Remember it is YOUR dream, you need nobody's permission to dream it, no-ones stamp of approval or endorsement.  Don't be embarrassed by your dream, or think it is too small or insignificant, or too outrageous or impossible.  Don't compromise your dream.

Now that you have been brave enough to write your dream down - in BOLD letters, I want you to make yourself some flash cards.  Put these all over the house, in your car, at the office to constantly remind yourself about your dream and the steps you have to take to realize it.  Come on now, don't be shy, don't give in to fear.  Yes, I know, it is daunting to have it out there in the open, but be BRAVE!

Next it is time to take the first step.  No! Don't say you'll do it tomorrow!  NOW is the time, the time to stop dreaming and to start DOING.  Only ACTION can turn your dream into a reality.  Don't put it off for another day, for tomorrow, we don't own tomorrow, we have just this moment.  What is it you have to do right now to start your dream journey?  Is it putting out that newly lit cigarette?  Saying no to the piece of cake sitting on your desk and waiting for you to take the first bite?  Signing the registration papers for the course you've been dreaming about taking for so long?  Cutting up your credit card?  Signing up at the gym? Whatever it is, do it NOW!

Remember, you can be whatever you dream.  You have no limits, God created you to be all you want to be.  You are not who you think you are, you are everything God knows you can be.  Make this the year that you will not only dream, but the year that you will live your dream!!  Be like the butterfly that leaves the coccoon , reach out with tender wings and fly.  Be brave, little dreamer....

If you flutter by here and would like to share your dream with us, please feel free to do so.  Just click on the words "no comment" or "1 comment" and follow the prompts.  I am looking forward to hearing from you.

The First Day

Early this morning I stood at her bed and watched her sleep, the curls on her pillow dancing around her head like dozens of butterflies, baby-like innocence still visible in the sleepy contours of her face.  Soon I'll have to wake her, but I put the moment off a little while longer, knowing that when I do, she'll be waking up to the first day of her last year at school.  My baby girl is now in grade 12!!  It seems impossible.  Where have the years disappeared to?  Minutes and hours, days and seasons, all have slipped back into Father Time's treasure chest.
As I watched her sleeping, time fell away and I recalled that first day of school 12 years ago.  The excitement was running high!  When I got to her room that morning to wake her up she was already awake, slipping on her crisp new, tiny little uniform on an even tinier body.  She flashed me a big toothy grin.  Her blond hair, usually an untame-able mass of curls, hanging loose over her shoulders.  The new ribbons were lying neatly folded next to her brush, waiting for me to tie them up in two ponytails.  How my heart fluttered at that sight, and how my heart flutters still!
I left her to sleep a while longer, and went to the kitchen to prepare her a breakfast of eggs and yogurt.  When I got to her room with the tray she was awake.  Excitement was again in the air, but a more contained and grown-up excitement. Oh, my girl!!  Do you know the love I have in my heart for you?  Do you feel my prayers following you wherever you go?  May this be a special year for you, my little butterfly.  May the winds ever be gentle beneath your wings and may you only find life's sweetest nectar.  You are dearly loved.

If you flutter by here, please feel free to comment.  Maybe these thoughts stir up your own memories of your children's first day at school, or maybe this year is that first day for your child, then please share them here with us.  Just click on the words "no comment" or "1 comment" and follow the prompts.  I look forward to hearing from you.

Be Still.....

Already the new year is bustling with activity as people return to work, children prepare to return to school.  Desks are overflowing with work that piled up during the festive season, sport activities resume and everyone wants things done by yesterday.  The peaceful moments of the holiday season blur quickly into oblivion.  The rat-race is on again.  It is easy to loose our focus, to loose sight of our goals for the new year and to forget all our many new year's resolutions when faced with the non-stop demands of everyday living.  We get swept up in the adrenaline pumping through everyone around us and soon all our plans, our ideals get lost in the constant mantra of "go go go".
Let me then be the voice that calls to you that says: "Be still".  Take a breath, smell the fresh morning air, marvel at the beauty of the day, take 5 minutes to just be still, quiet and reflect.  Remember your promises to yourself, your family, that this year will be different.  Focus.  Be still.
Yes, it is true, life as we know it today is hectic, more and more demands are made on our time, we have to deliver more, and at a faster tempo than ever before.  We have to constantly be ahead of everyone else to succeed, we cannot afford to miss a step, yet all this comes at a price.  The question is : am I prepared to pay the price,  is it all truly worth it?  When all is said and done, will I be happy with what it all cost me?
It is up to each individual to answer these questions. Only I can decide, only I can say "STOP".
Easy?  No, nothing that we want to do differently to the norm, to what we are used, to what others expect from us, is easy.  Change is never easy, but it is worth the effort.  My own sanity, my family is worth it.  The world and its demands will always be there, shouting ever louder for my attention, but I have only this moment, this now, this family, once.  Be still....
My wish for you this week is 5 minutes everyday of absolute quiet, a 5 minute refuge from the bustle of life...... to really listen and hear the whisper of your soul.....

If you flutter by here, please feel free to share any comments here with us.  Just click on the words "no comment" or "1 comment" and follow the prompts.  Thank you for fluttering by, and I wish you peace and stillness this year.

Peace to All

We have been blessed with wonderful rain early in this new year.  As I sat outside after another rain shower, I marvelled at the peacefulness of the early evening.  An almost holy quietness have settled on everything.  I thought that this perfect and beautiful moment is exactly what humankind the world over crave.... 

Peace. 

 For centuries people have debated over peace, they have fought wars over it, beauty queens have tried to think up clever answers to it, peace treaties have been signed for it, yet it stays ever elusive. 

Peace is not something you can wish for and it will magically manifest itself, you cannot buy it and nobody can give it to you.  Peace is an internal component, it lies within the individual.  It can only be found within.  It is a mind set. 
Peace is my responsibility, it begins with me.  Before I can even begin to be at peace with others I have to be at peace with myself.  I can only share something which I have in my possession.  Talking about peace means nothing, most people have wonderful thoughts about the topic, I have to live it!!  My words and actions have to be a testimony of peace.
Inner peace starts with my thoughts.  What thoughts do I harbour?  Are they thoughts fuelled by anger, or negativity?  Are they filled with resentment or prejudice?  I have to clear my mind of such thoughts as thoughts lead most often than not to actions.  The saying "You can change the whole world, by changing your mind" is profoundly true!  I have to recondition my thoughts.  Thoughts on love, forgiveness and patience will lead to actions of the same kind.  I can maybe not give peace to the world, but I can certainly share it with my family and with everyone I encounter.  Mother Theresa has been quoted as saying " You want world peace?  Go love your family."

I share with you this prayer by Rabbi Harold Kushner - 2003

(author of 'Why bad things happen to good people')

Let the rain come and wash away
the ancient grudges, the bitter hatreds
held and nurtured over generations.
Let the rain wash away the memory
of the hurt, the neglect.
Then let the sun come out and
fill the sky with rainbows.
Let the warmth of the sun heal us
wherever we are broken.
Let it burn away the fog so that
we can see each other clearly.
So that we can see beyond labels,
beyond accents, gender or skin colour.
Let the warmth and brightness
of the sun melt our selfishness.
So that we can share the joys and
feel the sorrows of our neighbours.
And let the light of the sun
be so strong that we will see all
people as our neighbours.
Let the earth, nourished by rain,
bring forth flowers
to surround us with beauty.
And let the mountains teach our hearts
to reach upward to heaven.

Amen.

If you flutter by here, I wish you Peace for 2013.  Please feel free to share your thoughts here, just click on the words "no comment" or "1 comment" and follow the prompts.

NOTE:
The Wednesday Mixed Media Challenge is up and running again.  The challenge for January is "PEACE" to be submitted by the 30th of January 2013.
The Thursday Poetry Challenge is also on the go again.  The tile is "PEACE", to be submitted by 17 January 2013.  Visit these pages here on my blog to find out more.
Blessings,
Charri

Percfet?!

Another year is almost done, it rushed past in such a flurry.  What hopes and dreams did we not have for it?  Plans that this year we will do this or that.  This year would be the perfect year, this year I will get it just right.  This year I will be perfect.  Noble and high ideals, but chances are, we did not get it all right, plans did not work out as we hoped, we had to adapt, change course, take a different route.  We might look back at the year and feel like a failure, because once again my dream only gathered dust, yet again I had to accept something less than perfect.  If you feel like that, then this is just for you, just for me.  Life is after all what happens when we make other plans.  Life is not perfect, in fact, it is seriously flawed, but it is exactly in that flawed state where we find such wonders, such inspiration and excitement.  It is the eternal hope that life can indeed be better, more perfect, that keeps as going, that help us to reach out to our dreams.
The world that we live in has us believe that only perfection is good enough, only the flawless is beautiful, and only precision is acceptable.  Wonderful ideals, but the reality is simply this, nothing in life is ever absolutely perfect and as long as that is our measuring tool we will always fall short, be disappointed and deflated.  It is time that we look past our ideas of perfection and enjoy all of life with its imperfections and flaws.  Instead of looking at what you did not get right, look at what you did achieve.  Instead of moping about what you did not get done, celebrate the process of trying.  Instead of being bitter about what you did not receive, count the unexpected blessings that came your way.
We get so bogged down in our quest for perfection that we do not notice the whispered blessings of soft rain on a wedding day, we miss out on the giving heart of a simple man, we walk past the beggar not caring about his beautiful smile wishing us a "Merry Christmas".  We are so intolerant of everything less than perfection that we immediately start to change the people in our lives to be acceptable to us, according to our standards, our "perfect" ways.
My wish for this new year is that we will all start noticing the perfection in the imperfectness all around us, it is okay to love somebody with flaws, to aim for the stars and be slightly off target.  It's okay to cry, to feel hurt, to sometimes throw your toys out of the cot.  It is really okay to err, life carries on, and if we are blessed we get another change to try.  The only way we can avoid making mistakes is by doing nothing and what a waste such a life would be......

If you flutter by here, please feel free to leave a comment, NOBODY is going to judge you here.  Just click on the words "no comments" or "1 ccomment" and follow the prompts.

ABC of Living

Cleaning out my daughter's room in order to make way for the new double bed for the newly weds I came across a notebook of hers in which she wrote "Mommy's ABC of Principles to Live By" and I thought I'll share them here with you.
A - Always Smile
B - Be kind and mild
C - Count your blessings
D - Depend on the Lord
E - Enjoy Life!
F - Friendliness spreads sunshine
G - Give with gladness
H - Have a Happy Heart, and an honest one
I - In everything rejoice; value integrity
J - Join hands with the needy
K - Keep your faith strong
L - Let your light shine; be loyal
M - Make eye-contact and smile
N- Now is the best time to do!
O - Openly praise the Lord
P - Positive attitudes brightens any day
R - Remember every good, special time
S - Stay humble
T - Trust the Lord
U - Unity of the family is a treasure
V - Vows are sacred
W - Willingness creates an open mind.
X - Go the eXtra mile
Y - Your yes, YES, your no, NO
Z - Zest, put it in everything you do

Looking at my two daughters ten years down the line I can see how they are implementing these things in their lives and I am so proud of them!

If you flutter by here, feel free to share your ABC of living with us, I would love to hear from you.  To comment just click on the words "no comment" or "1 comment" and follow the prompts.

Sweet Grapes

I often wonder how it is that a butterfly knows exactly which flower has the sweetest nectar?  All insects seem to know that instinctively.  They always find the choicest, sweetest fruit.
All of us in our house love fruit, especially grapes, and the fruit sellers make them seem even more delicious with promises of  "sweeter than honey".  Exactly such salesman talk enticed my husband to arrive home with a whole box of delicious grapes, and although not exactly sweeter than honey, they were mostly quite nice.  However, every now and then you would bite into a particularly sour one that would make your toenails curl up and clench your jaw muscles in a tetanus grip. 
This made me think about life and what Forest Gump's mother told him, "Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you are going to get". To me life is like a bunch of grapes.  Most days are sweet and juicy, full of lovely fresh goodness.  Unfortunately some days are sour, testing our perseverance, trying our patience.  Some days leave us with a bitter taste in the mouth.  Some days make us want to declare that we never want to eat grapes ever again. 
Yet it is that sweet tasting grape that let us reach for the next one, and the next.  It is exactly that sour one that makes us appreciate the sweet grapes all the more.  It keeps life interesting and exciting.  It keeps us grateful.  Every single grape, sweet or sour, is needed to make that special bottle of wine.  Every experience, every success or disappointment, shapes us into the people we are, giving every one of us our unique character. 
It is not the even easy and level road that build and strengthen our muscles, no, it is the uphills and uneven terrain that develop our perserverance and stamina, strengthening us.  It builds our character and shapes us.
My wish for you today is this - may you enjoy your bunch of grapes, and may the sour ones be few!

If you flutter by here, please feel free to comment.  Just click on the words "no comment" or "1 comment" and follow the prompts.

More Than a Label

On Saturday it was my daughter's wedding.  What a wonderful occasion it was!!  It was so lovely to have all the family together for such a joyous event!  Equally nice was meeting the other side of the family and soon everyone was talking,swapping stories and getting to know one another.  While making new acquaintances I was struck by one thing in particular.  It was a question I heard repeatedly:  "What do you do?"  The answers varied greatly from "I am a housewife" to " I am a teacher" to "I am a financial adviser" and everything else in between.  A single label, and never once was the answer queried, or the person asked to elaborate.
This made me realise how easily we attach and accept labels.  Since a young age this brought out the rebel in me, as at the very least I am a mixed fruit jam, a muesli cereal, a rainbow coloured writing pad, an omnibus, a buffet.  No single label for me and certainly not for the next person either.  I hated labels and I absolutely still do.  Yet, that is exactly what we as people do.  We conveniently label people, pack them into little compartments and let them just dare to break free from that perfect little niche we have placed them in.  Conveniently we sort the "bad " ones with the baddies and the "good" ones with the goodies, the adulterers with the vow breakers, the divorcees with the failures, and the gays with the arty's. We feel comfortable knowing where who fits in.  That way it is easy to avoid those that don't fit in with what we view as the norm.
This system we have of labelling makes me want to scream.  The label " Teacher " after all, is only the title of the work Anne is doing, it tells me nothing about her passion for scuba diving.  John, an accountant, is much more than a number cruncher, he spends his week-ends painting beautiful murals for the children's ward at the state hospital and Betty, the housewife, is an interior decorator, chef and psychologist to three teenagers.
Then of course there are the other labels.  Those that are whispered about behind hands and glassy smiles - oh, Marc is that banker that embezzled all that money... did u know Susan got fired.... Dan has an eye for the ladies....poor Bob and Mary, their daughter is pregnant, she'll never amount to much now.....hmmm, Lydia had an affair..... the woman in the green dress is Professor Smith's wife........on and on the labelling goes.  Yet, Marc is much more than his "sin", Susan much more than a woman who lost her job, the woman in the green dress so much more than her husband's profession, but sadly, few people are  interested or really care to look beyond the label.  No-one bothers to read the fine print and few people take notice of the ingredients.  We are often so easily fooled by the glamorous images, the colourful graphics on the outside that we don't care to look beyond the labels.
It is also not just other people who label us, no, we are quite eager to label ourselves.  We are often our worst critics and attach the unfairest labels to ourselves.  "Failure", "Stupid", "Inadequate", "Ugly", "Loser" to name but a few, and so we live up (or should I say down) to these expectations we have labelled ourselves with. 
I remember walking into a farm stall last year during our annual vacation.  On the shelf there was a variety of homemade jams and condiments.  I noticed one bottle in particular.  It had a label that read "Tastes Like Nothing You've Tasted Before".  What a perfect label.  We should all rip off our labels and replace it with one like that, because each one of us is unique, there is no-one else like us, has never been, nor will there be again......


If you flutter by here and would like to share your thoughts please feel free to do so.   Just click on the words "no comments" or "1 comment " and follow the link.  I would love to hear from you.