They call February the month of love. The shops are filled with chocolate hearts, cuddly teddy bears and red roses. There is a lot of talk about what love is and how to spoil your better half. We go to great lengths to arrange the perfect evening for our loved one. However I want to look at love from another side. I want to ask you if you have shown yourself a little bit of self love?
Most of us have been brought up to think of others first before we consider our own needs. We have been taught that it is selfish to put ourselves first. Love is to supply in the needs of others. Yet the truth is that when we are so busy in meeting the need of others, of our children and husband or wife, we end up neglecting ourselves and we deplete our reserves. Eventually we have spent all our time, energy and resources on others and we have nothing left to give ourselves and the result is that we have nothing more to give to other people either.
Therefore I want to look at what we can do to restore our reserves in order to be able to give to others as well. It is time to give ourselves a little bit of love as well.
Firstly, face who you are. Take a good look at yourself. You have been created perfectly even if you might think you are not. Love yourself for who you are, and love your faults too. Give yourself credit for your talents, your abilities, your achievements and your dreams. We are so quick to break ourselves down, because we have been conditioned that it is conceited to acknowledge our own successes. We demand perfectionism from ourselves, and when we fail to make our own impossibly high grade we severely berate ourselves.
Secondly, be kind to yourself. We are our own worst critic. We punish ourselves for every little mistake. Chances are that if you are not kind to yourself no-one else will be either. Forgive yourself for the mistakes you feel you may have made. Laugh at yourself. Allow yourself to dream. Give yourself time, and acknowledge yourself.
Next, take a stand. Your opinion matters. Believe in yourself and trust your instincts. Be bold and confident in your decision making. Speak up for what you believe in, and stand your ground.
Learn to listen to yourself. We all have an inner voice guiding us, yet many of us doubt our own voice. We disregard our instincts and conscience. Instead of listening to ourselves we convince ourselves that other people know better and we follow them, we allow them to guide us against our own better judgement. Learn to say no to the voices from outside, but to rather heed our inner voice. When we start listening to ourselves we start being authentic.
Lastly: spoil yourself. It is okay to spend so time on ourselves by ourselves. Give yourself a day off and do what pleases you. Treat yourself to a pamper session, or a new dress. Take yourself on an adventure, or curl up with a good book. Recharge your batteries. Allow yourself a little bit of self-love. It is amazing how much you have to give to others if you have taken the time to refill your own emotional, physical and spiritual well.