Hey there! So, last month I wrote about how we, wonderful, fallible people, have the expectation that life is supposed to just be a piece of cake, and when it turns out that it is not quite so, we are thrown for a loop. When we wake up to the reality that Life is not such plain sailing after all, we usually come down to earth with a thud. Our wings get a bit battered along the way. Most people's first reaction is to consider just giving up. We want to get as far away from the disaster as possible, we want to put distance between us and the problem or the people responsible for the problem. Yes, Life happened. Suddenly we are faced with a whole lot of choices, because that is essentially what life is; a series of choices. And my advice always is, that is after my initial flight or fight choice, to look at the choices I have. Mostly I am a very positive minded person, and I believe that there is always a way, however, when faced with a situation, I like to take stock of what is really happening. Of course, I have to admit, that is only once I have come to a standstill after my initial flight, lol.
So, onto stock-taking. These are the questions I ask of myself. What just happened? Do I have any clue why it happened? How serious is it? What is the effect it has on me, my life, my future and on the lives of the people who are important to me. How important is this problem in the bigger scale of things? How does this make me feel? Why do I feel this way. These are hard questions, and not easily answered. Therefore it is important to take your time answering them.
This was exactly the situation I faced in the time since I had last posted. I had to ask myself these questions. I added some more questions to these. In order to find out what would be the best way to react to the event which had taken place, I had to ask myself what are the things that are important to me, what is the code I want to live by, what am I prepared to tolerate and what am I willing to do, as well as what my future vision is. I had to determine whether the situation was worth salvaging and fighting for, was there anything left to fight for or was it time to move forward in a different direction?
Taking the time to reflect, I came up with some important answers to these questions.
So, what are the things which are important to me? Apart from my family and my true friends, who are the foundation of my life, peace is very important to me. I am of the age where drama is very low on my scale of importance. Health is very important too, not only physical health, but emotional and spiritual health especially. The way I see it, is that any drama which impacts on my emotional and spiritual health, and on my peace of mind is simply not worth it. A sense of purpose is very important too. Would mending the situation have any advantage to my life's purpose?
What is the code I want to live by? Trust and being trust-worthy is very important to me. Kindness is inherent of my nature and I always strive to be kind. I am always ready to extend help to those in need without first asking what the cost would be to myself. I love inspiring people and helping them to believe in themselves. I try to be tolerant and non-judgmental of others and I aim to treat all people the same. However, when I find myself in a situation where these characteristics are being abused I have to ask myself if I am willing to pay the price?
These are some of the questions I had to find answers to. Would patience, forgiveness, selflessness and better communication make any amends or are the core differences too great to form a foundation to repair the damage done? Should I stay in the situation, should I quit or should I adapt the flight plan?
Yes, this is Life. It is beautiful and glorious even with its obstacles and complications. Quitting is never the answer, life has to be lived as long as we have this life to live. We just have to take proper stock, weigh up the pros and cons and make the best choice given all the facts. Sometimes it is necessary to recalculate to get to our destination, but remember, enjoy the weird and wonderful journey along the way.
Our wings may sometimes get a bit bruised, but let it never stop us from flying.